# Dad Jokes 40 classic dad jokes: gloriously groan-worthy puns that are so bad they are good. Dad jokes are the puns fathers have told forever: cheesy, predictable, and impossible not to laugh at. Every joke below is clean and kid-safe, perfect for the dinner table, road trips, and making teenagers roll their eyes. - **I am reading a book about anti-gravity.** It is impossible to put down. - **Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?** Great food, no atmosphere. - **I used to play piano by ear.** But now I use my hands. - **I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.** She gave me a hug. - **Why did the dad bring a ladder to the store?** He heard the prices were through the roof. - **I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.** She looked surprised. - **What is the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?** Attire. - **I am afraid for the calendar.** Its days are numbered. - **My boss told me to have a good day.** So I went home. - **I would tell you a joke about pizza.** But it is too cheesy. - **Why did the dad cross the road?** He did not. He was too busy telling jokes about it. - **How do you make a tissue dance?** Put a little boogie in it. - **I used to hate facial hair.** But then it grew on me. - **What do you call a lazy kangaroo?** A pouch potato. - **Why did the dad bring string to the movie?** In case it was a tearjerker. - **I ordered a chicken and an egg online.** I will let you know which comes first. - **Why do dads love freshly cut grass?** It is a cut above the rest. - **I told my suitcase there would be no vacation this year.** Now I am dealing with emotional baggage. - **What is orange and bad for your teeth?** A brick. - **I made a pun about the wind.** But it blows. - **My dad said I should do lunges to stay in shape.** That would be a big step forward. - **I wanted to tell you a joke about boxing.** But I forgot the punch line. - **Why do dads keep spare batteries around?** For high-energy moments. - **I asked the librarian if they had books on paranoia.** She whispered, 'They are right behind you.' - **What do you call a magician who lost his magic?** Ian. - **I used to be addicted to soap.** But I am clean now. - **Why did the dad put sugar on his pillow?** He wanted sweet dreams. - **I told my phone I needed some space.** So it put me in airplane mode. - **What is a dad's favorite kind of music?** Pop. - **Why did the coffee file a police report?** It got mugged. - **I tried to catch fog yesterday.** I mist. - **I named my dog Stay.** Now when I say 'Come here, Stay,' nobody moves. - **Why did the dad sit on the clock?** He wanted to be on time. - **Why did the dad bring a pencil to the soccer game?** He wanted to draw the match. - **I asked my dad for money.** He said, 'Money does not grow on trees.' So I asked for leaves, and he gave me a rake. - **Why did the dad take his clock to the repair shop?** It was time for a check-up. - **What did the dad say when his kid asked for a joke about paper?** It is tearable. - **I wanted to tell a joke about time travel.** But you did not like it yet. - **Why did the dad bring a map to the picnic?** He wanted to find the perfect spot. - **I told my dad I was hungry.** He said, 'Hi hungry, I am dad.' ## More laughs - [Joke of the Day](/joke-of-the-day/) - [Kids jokes](/kids-jokes/) - [Knock-knock jokes](/knock-knock-jokes/) - [Riddles](/riddles/) ## Frequently asked questions ### What is a dad joke? A dad joke is a short, punny joke of the kind fathers love to tell: wholesome, a little cheesy, and built around wordplay. The classic example is answering 'I'm hungry' with 'Hi hungry, I'm dad.' ### Are these dad jokes clean? Yes. All 40 dad jokes here are kid-safe family humor with no innuendo and nothing mean. Share them with kids, grandparents, and coworkers alike. ### Can I use these jokes for free? Yes. These are classic jokes in the public domain style, free to tell, copy, and share anywhere with no account needed.