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Dad Jokes

40 classic dad jokes: gloriously groan-worthy puns that are so bad they are good.

Dad jokes are the puns fathers have told forever: cheesy, predictable, and impossible not to laugh at. Every joke below is clean and kid-safe, perfect for the dinner table, road trips, and making teenagers roll their eyes.

  1. I am reading a book about anti-gravity. It is impossible to put down.
  2. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
  3. I used to play piano by ear. But now I use my hands.
  4. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
  5. Why did the dad bring a ladder to the store? He heard the prices were through the roof.
  6. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
  7. What is the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
  8. I am afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
  9. My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
  10. I would tell you a joke about pizza. But it is too cheesy.
  11. Why did the dad cross the road? He did not. He was too busy telling jokes about it.
  12. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
  13. I used to hate facial hair. But then it grew on me.
  14. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
  15. Why did the dad bring string to the movie? In case it was a tearjerker.
  16. I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I will let you know which comes first.
  17. Why do dads love freshly cut grass? It is a cut above the rest.
  18. I told my suitcase there would be no vacation this year. Now I am dealing with emotional baggage.
  19. What is orange and bad for your teeth? A brick.
  20. I made a pun about the wind. But it blows.
  21. My dad said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
  22. I wanted to tell you a joke about boxing. But I forgot the punch line.
  23. Why do dads keep spare batteries around? For high-energy moments.
  24. I asked the librarian if they had books on paranoia. She whispered, 'They are right behind you.'
  25. What do you call a magician who lost his magic? Ian.
  26. I used to be addicted to soap. But I am clean now.
  27. Why did the dad put sugar on his pillow? He wanted sweet dreams.
  28. I told my phone I needed some space. So it put me in airplane mode.
  29. What is a dad's favorite kind of music? Pop.
  30. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  31. I tried to catch fog yesterday. I mist.
  32. I named my dog Stay. Now when I say 'Come here, Stay,' nobody moves.
  33. Why did the dad sit on the clock? He wanted to be on time.
  34. Why did the dad bring a pencil to the soccer game? He wanted to draw the match.
  35. I asked my dad for money. He said, 'Money does not grow on trees.' So I asked for leaves, and he gave me a rake.
  36. Why did the dad take his clock to the repair shop? It was time for a check-up.
  37. What did the dad say when his kid asked for a joke about paper? It is tearable.
  38. I wanted to tell a joke about time travel. But you did not like it yet.
  39. Why did the dad bring a map to the picnic? He wanted to find the perfect spot.
  40. I told my dad I was hungry. He said, 'Hi hungry, I am dad.'

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Frequently asked questions

What is a dad joke?

A dad joke is a short, punny joke of the kind fathers love to tell: wholesome, a little cheesy, and built around wordplay. The classic example is answering 'I'm hungry' with 'Hi hungry, I'm dad.'

Are these dad jokes clean?

Yes. All 40 dad jokes here are kid-safe family humor with no innuendo and nothing mean. Share them with kids, grandparents, and coworkers alike.

Can I use these jokes for free?

Yes. These are classic jokes in the public domain style, free to tell, copy, and share anywhere with no account needed.